I want to choke a ginger

I work with close to the most annoying person on the face of the planet. I almost cannot contain myself when she tries to interact with me. I want to shout at the top of my lungs for her to shut the fuck up whenever she opens her mouth. Which is a lot. It seems like that's all she knows how to do at work.

First I will describe her appearance. She is a ginger. Red hair, pale, freckles, the whole deal. Inherently there's nothing wrong with this. But she's also fat. She's probably 5'6" and weighs close to 200 pounds. She is shaped much like a pear and has a gigantic ass. She is straight up repulsive to look at.

The biggest reason she is annoying is simply how much she talks, as well as what she talks about. She's one of those people that I think are scared of silence. I think she feels like as long as she's talking and people are listening that people actually like her. She has no clue.

She talks about the most mundane topics that wouldn't interest someone locked up in solitary confinement for 10 years. She also talks about things that are innapropriate. She will say things about her sex life at weird times that make you feel uncomfortable simply because you don't want to imagine her repulsive body doing things like anal. She once told me she loves anal. She makes sex noises for no reason. She makes claims to how good she is in bed and what positions she likes. She acts like every guy that works with us would jump at the chance to get her in bed. She flirts with everyone.

On top of all of this she talks down to people. This chick works two nights a week, and has no real power to speak of, but she acts like she owns the place. She tries to delegate lesser tasks to other people as if she's too busy to do anything. She is constantly trying to tell people the "right" way to do things. I was once chopping green peppers and she told me that I shouldn't chop them; that I should slice them because I might cut my hand. Thanks, I think I can handle this simple task without making myself bleed.


My work is making it mandatory that everyone "retrain" at all of the stations. I work at a pizza place. Monkeys could do this job. The owner's wife decided that I was the first person that needed to be retrained. I've only worked there for 2.5 months. It wasn't very long ago that I trained for this shit in the first place. So she has the fat ginger bitch train me on how to make salads. This place is really anal. They have signs on all of the walls instructing you on how to do every single thing in the store.

So I'm making an antipasto salad. This requires 20 pieces of ham, and 20 pieces of salami. Knowing that this fat stupid bitch is watching I make the salad to the exact specifications required by the chart on the wall. She comments to me on how I only put 18 pieces of ham on the salad, not 20. I stare dead at her with a look that I hope she interpreted as my desire to strangle her. Then she tells me that I put too many black olives on the salad. I am losing all patience and rational thought at this point. I want to gouge my eyeballs out with something dull. After an excruciating hour, I asked my other manager to replace her with anyone else to "retrain" me. He hates the fat ginger too and helped me out.

I have "gotten into it" with this ginger retard a couple of times. She understands that I don't like her. Most recently I told her not to speak to me unless it's necessary. Later in the night I was in the back room doing some busy work when she "wanted to straighten some things out." I politely informed her that I didn't need to straighten anything out, and that I couldn't care less about anything involving her. She wants to know why I don't like her. She has never been mean to me whatsoever. Blah blah blah.

I tell her... "How do I say this nice and without hurting your feelings? I find you to be very annoying and I would truly just like to not interact with you on any levels other than professional. If what you need to say to me doesn't have some direct correlation to the work we're performing I would appreciate it if you don't try to communicate with me."

This puts her in a defensive and argumentative stance where she appeals to me trying to state her case as to why I should be nice to her and like her. I tell her that none of this matters to me and that I would just seriously like to not interact with her. I ask her to quit talking to me so I can finish the work I'm doing. She goes on. She starts badgering me, asking me why I don't like her and think she's annoying. At this point I am boiling over with frustration and I am annoyed beyond belief.

I tell her, "Brandi, since you cannot comprehend what I am saying and simply won't leave me alone I will be a bit more brash. I think you are quite possibly one of the stupidest people I've ever known in my life. You are definitely top 5, and that's a hard list to get on. I haven't updated this list in years, well till I met you anyways. I don't believe that you can in any way shape or form add any value to my life. In fact, the only thing you can manage to do is annoy me. I am not interested in this whatsoever. All I would like from you is for you to leave me alone completely. Please, just act like I don't exist at all; trust me, this is how I think of you."

She badgers on for a few more moments about how she is in fact smarter than I am and that she never did anything to me to warrant me being mean to her. Blah blah blah. I don't care. Some people just don't get it. When people don't like me, it doesn't bother me. I can handle the fact that someone doesn't like my personality. It's cool. This bitch craves attention and wants to be everyone's best friend.

I need a new job. Or a bottle of dumb bitch repellent.

Cologne/Perfume Rant

Something has bothered me for quite some time and I'd like to discuss it. The topic is cologne and perfume. The parody of cologne and perfume has perplexed me ever since I was a little kid. Alright check this out...

A guy goes to a department store and he goes to the men's section of cologne. He spends a few minutes spraying the different colognes on little pieces of paper to find a scent that he likes. When buying cologne guys think of two things: A. How much he likes the scent himself. and B. How much he thinks a woman might like that particular scent. Let's be honest, men wear cologne in general to try to attract attention from women.

Now a woman goes into a department store and goes to the women's section of the perfume counter. She sprays a bunch of little cards and finds a scent she likes. She selects the scent based on two reasons. She finds something she likes herself, and something she thinks men will like. Women wear perfume to attract men as much as men wear cologne to attract women.

So here's my dilemma. I'm buying cologne because I hope a woman will like it, and they're designed to be liked by women. A woman is buying perfume because she hopes men will like it, and they're designed to attract men. So then, why is there even a distinction between the scents if they're designed to be liked by all? It's the most ambiguous and arbitrarily decided product of all time. At what point did they decide which smells belonged to which gender? How is one scent any more masculine or feminine than the other? I know there are some scents that are designed to be androgynous, but really why aren't they all?

To clarify this however, I will say that I like men's cologne way better than I like women's perfume. And I imagine that women in general like their women's cologne more than they like men's cologne. In this case wouldn't it make more sense for women to wear men's cologne, or vice versa to truly appeal to the other gender's tastes? If a woman wants a scent that men really like then she would have to choose men's cologne.

Does this make sense to anyone? Or am I the only fucktard to think stupid shit like this?

Wonderful night

I went on a date last night with a chick I met off the internet and surprisingly had one of the greatest times of my life. First off I should note that I have been with a great number of women, so not many occasions are particularly notable in any real way. Mostly drunken one night hook ups and fuck buddy situations. But I will surely never forget last night.

I have been talking to this girl for maybe a week or so and despite my previous posts about the crazier chicks I've talked to this one was quite normal. I met up with her first at a coffee shop. Coffee shops aren't exactly my kind of thing, but hey whatever. I got some sort of coffee drink I can't pronounce and we chilled and talked for a while. We hit it off right away. She is a really good hearted nice girl.

After we finished our coffee's we started talking about what to do next. Both her and I are nature buffs so she suggested we go to a park and go swimming. It was getting pretty late and the park was about to close. So I asked if she was down for a little adventure and if she'd be down to sneak in after it closed. She agreed, and we went and got a few beers and some Captain to bring with us. She had a blanket with her and we went back to my house real quick and grabbed a backpack. Then we headed towards the park

The night was just gorgeous. It was quite warm, but a cool breeze blew the entire night making it absolutely perfect. We had to hike about a mile to get into the park and all the way down to the beach. When we got there we set up the blanket and cracked a couple of beers and sat back and chilled. Off in the distance it looked like a storm was brewing. There were some pretty narly clouds with flashes of lightning lighting up the dark sky.

I can't express how perfect the weather was. It was so unbelievable comfortable laying on the blanket on the beach looking up at the stars. After a while she cuddled up next to me and we started kissing and snuggling. Everything just seemed to flow perfectly. Things started getting a bit heated when all of the sudden we saw some headlights coming towards us from the distance. We started shitting our pants. We kept low and watched the truck off in the distance. It appeared to be some DNR officers doing rounds picking up trash or something; but they were shining a spotlight all around the park checking for intruders.

So we layed there with our heads low watching where they were going. They were getting pretty close but they were looking in the opposite direction so we thought we were gonna be ok. I told her just to keep her head down and be quiet. They had no idea we were there and it was totally just routine for them. Just when we thought they were done they started to turn in our direction. We had to bolt. They were only about a 150 yards away. I grabbed her hand the beer and the blanket and we took off running for the other side of the beach.

When we got clear to the other side of the beach, which was huge by the way, we stopped and threw the blanket back down. The DNR didn't see anything. We totally got away. It was awesome. They were still just driving around picking up trash.

Having totally just escaped, we decided we should go swimming. Even if they looked they surely wouldn't see us if we were a hundred yards out into the water. Neither of us had swim suits. We just stripped down naked and ran off into the water. The water was warm and so comfortable. We started to frolic a bit which lead to us makin out in the moonlight. Everything was so ideal. It was exciting but so cozy. It just felt right.

Just about as soon as we were ready to get out of the lake the headlights appeared again. They were making rounds and had made it down to the part of the beach where we were at; and they had the spot lights out again. We saw the coming and got a bit scared, we were of course naked at a state park after hours. They shined the spotlight in an arc and as it swept over our heads we both went under water and surfaced after it passed. It was like some mission impossible shit.

After what seemed like an eternity they passed us by. When we got out of the water the wind started to pick up and the brisk breeze made it really cold. So we laid down on half of the blanket and folded it over us. The cold and excitement lead to us passionately making out. It was actually one of the hottest and most romantic times I've ever been a part of. We made love under the stars, wrapped up in a blanket on the beach with the wind whipping around us. It was absolutely incredible, and hot. With a million words I still couldn't explain how perfect it was.

After we finished up we dipped back in the water to clean off all the sand then got dressed. We were walking hand in hand towards the exit of the park when we saw the headlights again. This time they were coming right for us. I told her not to worry. At this point we were already on our way out so what's the worst they could do to us, kick us out?

When they saw us the sped right over and shined spotlights in our eyes and told us to freeze. Three people come storming up on us and it sounded like they were pissed. There were two park employees, one younger hillbilly looking guy and an older woman. They looked pleasant. The short bull dyke looking park ranger on the other hand looked pissed. She had the look on her face that I imagine women get when they don't get dicked right for six months straight.

She was just pissed. She asked us what we were doing there and we told her we were there to go swimming. She told us that it's against the law to be in the park after hours and she was writing us tickets. That made me get really pissed off and I started talking shit to her. I asked her if she could hurry it up cause I had shit to do. I talked a ton of shit to the park ranger and I could just see her getting all sorts of upset. She kept telling me if I didn't be quiet she was going to arrest me for disorderly conduct. It started to rain lightly.

After writing us tickets the three of them started to walk us out of the park. When they were behind us with flashlights they noticed a bottle of Captain Morgan in my see through mesh back pack. (Why did I ever buy that fuckin thing anyways?) The little bull dyke ranger had a shit fit and stopped us to write me another ticket for having alcohol in an alcohol free beach. I talked more shit. I told her that she took her job too seriously and probably just needed a hug. She didn't like that.

When we got to the park exit after an excruciating 15 minute walk I decided I should apologize to the park ranger for being such a dick. I wasn't really sorry, but I do not need an alcohol ticket. I told my date to excuse us so we could talk for a minute. So I apologized to her and told her that I didn't even drink any of it. I don't drink liquor. Which is true. But I did drink a few beers. She said, "I'll tell you what take a PBT and we'll see if you're telling the truth." Oh shit. Damn. Shit.

It had been a little while since I had drank my 3-4 beers but I thought surely I would blow something. She got out the little doohickey and I blew into a tube. A minute later I got my reading: .008. I thought it said .08 which is the legal limit (for driving) and started to shit my pants. Then I realized where the decimal point was. She looked at it, acknowledged that I was telling the truth and probably wasn't drinking the fifth and then ripped up the alcohol ticket. Awesome

I totally blamed my date for the Captain Morgan fifth. It was pretty funny. I mean it was her fifth, but I did throw her under the bus. I knew she wouldn't get in any trouble for it so whatever. After being such a jerk to the park ranger I was actually stunned to find out I could talk my way out of that ticket. I said some pretty mean shit to that ranger. It's all good though.

We walked back to the car hand in hand laughing about the whole ordeal. We couldn't determine whether it was one of the greatest nights ever, or if it was the biggest disaster ever. We settled on the former. Even with such a shitty end, overall the night was truly magnificent. It was exciting, passionate, comfortable, and beautiful all at once. I've had sex with a ton of girls, but I seriously can't say that any compared to last night. The ambience, the weather, the water, everything just fit perfectly. It was a once in a lifetime romp I'm sure of that.

I will surely never forget the beautiful night I had last night.

The spoils Pt. 2

You win some and you lose some. I never truly realized how crazy people can be on the internet. Some good some bad. I got an email from an older woman that said something like, "You look like a good boy but I bet you're a real bad boy in bed! Hit me up if you like older chicks." Ha ha ha! Awesome. Older chicks rule. Least they get right down to the point and don't want to fuck you around. The best thing about bangin an older chick, you know damn well you can go in the fridge and get a capri sun afterwards. That and she's got shit to do. You're in and out cause she's gotta go pick up the kids from soccer practice. Ha ha ha! (I stole the capri sun shit from a comedian, I'm sorry)

I got another email from the other end of the spectrum. A really horny 19 year old girl. She emails me something harmless, but when I start talking to her on IM she gets right down to business. "Are you a very sexual person?" She asks. lol. Why yes I am thank you very much. Why do you ask? Ha ha ha. Then she just starts going into very vivid detail about which sexual positions she likes the most, and how no guy she's been with could make her cum. Wow! How awesome. I didn't even do anything. Chick just starts sending me naked pictures of her. Really, I haven't even initiated contact with many girls. Except Thesassyginger, but I don't think she likes me.

The girl with the poor grammar keeps emailing me too. Even though I don't respond to her. She emails me every day or two to ask how I'm doing. Oh, I talked to her briefly on an IM'er a week ago or so. That was funny. She told me about how she's a "bad girl." I asked her to elaborate, but with less syllables. She went on to tell me about how she has banged two guys at once. Ha ha ha! Check that off the list of things to do.

Another chick I talked to briefly tells me about how she has only ever had 2 boyfriends in her life. She said that she was with her last one for 5 years. He is 28, she is 20. So that means he was one creepy fucker at 23 bangin a 15 year old. Um, no thanks. I don't need to deal with that kind of emotional damage. I mean, I'm not exactly doing handstands in my life right now but I'm not forcing any sort of psychological trauma on someone else either.

I got another email from a very attractive girl. Same age, and she like's U of M football. Alright, I can dig this. So I start talking to her, and she's pretty cool. Everything is going FINE AND DANDY. Then out of nowhere she's like, "Ok, I have to be serious for a minute. ......This part sucks. And I understand if you don't ever want to talk to me again." Uh oh! This can't be good. "I have an STD." Oh sweet mother of God. What in the hell? Why why why why why why why are you on a dating site then? Hey it's all good though. I felt really bad for her, but no. Just no.

Got another email from some chick that just wanted to talk about all of the things that have been going wrong in her life. She told me about the last three guys that screwed her over and broke her heart blah blah blah. I'm sorry, I'm not a licensed counselor. I don't have the authority to give you advice ma'am. Good day.

To be honest, this is all pretty hilarious. It is highly entertaining that's for sure. It's like watching tv. The tv is turned to the Spice channel, and we got a little picture in picture action of Jerry Springer in the corner. I have still yet to meet any one off the internet. I haven't found one that was worth actually meeting. (Except the ginger one, but I don't think that's working out) Any way about it, this is some pretty funny shit. I will keep posting about the spoils of internet dating as it happens.

One

Long live pole cat

I was sitting in jail earlier this year for a nonsense domestic violence charge. I can thank my ex for this. She called the cops on me and told them I stole my own truck. Somehow I got arrested for domestic violence. I still don't know how that all worked out.

But anyways, I was sitting in Macomb County Jail. I was in the maximum security section of the jail because I called one of the guards a prick. Apparently they're not very fond of that kind of thing. Max was set up like this... There was six one man cells right next to one another. It basically looked like what you might see in any prison movie, bars and everything. There was a small walkway and a hall for the guards directly across from the cells. We were locked down for 21 hours a day. Six guys in an enclosed area. You could hear every sneeze, burp, or fart very clearly.

So we're all sitting there one night bullshitting. Somehow we got on the topic of stealing cable. This very hood kid from Detroit goes on to tell a fantastic story that I would like to immortalize on the interwebs. The story of "Pole Cat"

Guy starts telling the story. He says that he was squatting in an abandoned house on the east side of Detroit. He said if you just know the right people you can get all of your services hooked up pretty cheap and not have to pay a bill. He knew people that could install water meters, electric meters, turn your gas on, etc. Then he goes on to describe one of the neighborhood crack heads that they called Pole Cat.

Pole Cat was just a cool dude. He cared about everybody. When he was walkin to the corner store to buy a 40 he would stop by your front steps and ask you if you needed anything while he was at the store. He'd get it for you and wouldn't even steal your money. He was that kind of guy.

But Pole Cat was a crackhead. He really loved his crack. He'd do anything to get him some crack. So that leads to his nick name, Pole Cat. Apparently this crack head was pretty ballsy, and enterprising, so what he would do is climb utility poles and turn people's cable on for them. For a fee of course. A fee of crack. A 20 dollar rock would get your cable turned on in ten minutes flat. And the guy didn't need any ladders or rope either. He would shimmy up the pole, open the box, and plug you in.

So my new buddy in jail tells me that he wanted his cable turned on and down the road comes Pole Cat. He stops him and asks him if he can do it. "Sure, no problem man. Juss let me git one dem twenny rocks." You can never trust a crackhead so homeboy says I'll give you ten now and ten when you get done.

So he gives Pole Cat a 10 dollar rock of crack and Pole Cat takes out his pipe and smokes it. Pole Cat then shimmy's up pole and starts opening the box. All of the sudden there is a loud explosion of sparks. Pole Cat flies through the air a good sixty feet horizontally down a back alley. My jail buddy rushes to see what happened. He finds Pole Cat dazed, partially on fire, with his hair singed.

"You alright Pole Cat?"
"I'm fine."
"Man you on fire."
"Aint nothin. Juss my shirt" As he pats out the flames.
"Here Pole Cat, here's the other 10 rock. And an extra 5 bucks man. Go get yourself somethin to drink.

Pole Cat stumbles on down to the liquor store and buys himself a 40. He pops a squat under a big oak tree and smokes his rock and sips on his 40. Eventually he falls asleep, and passes away in his sleep.

Pole Cat was everybody's friend. He was the neighborhood's favorite crack head. He'd do anything for you for a crack rock, but he wasn't shady. He'd never screw you over. The hood in Detroit won't be the same without him. So anyways, I would just like to say: Long live Pole Cat. Let him never be forgotten.

I'm going to hell

A couple of friends and I were driving down the road one day when we spotted a wheelchair on the side of the street. Being 18-19 years old our eyes lit up. We pulled over to pick it up already giddy with the possibilities. Someone was throwing the wheelchair away but it still felt like we were doing something wrong by taking it. As we were loading it into the back of my truck a woman opened the door and yelled something at us. To our surprise she said something along the lines of "Need any help loading that into your truck?" Awesome.

Being masters of fucking with people, my friends and I started brainstorming what we would do with our new found treasure. I'm not sure which one of us came up with our glorious idea, but we had a plan. And it was going to be hilarious.

The plan was to have someone wheel themselves into a store or gas station or fast food restaurant. The others would wait a few moments for our handicapped friend to get set up. The others would rush in minute later and yell some crazy shit at the handicapped person, then throw him out of the wheel chair and "steal" the wheel chair and run out of the building with it.

I played the handicapp first. Our first mark was a big gas station. One that had a ton of room inside. We got there and set up outside. I wheeled myself into the gas station, which I realized was much harder than I anticipated. It was actually hard to wheel myself up the wheel chair ramp and because of our escapades I have a new found respect for the wheelchair bound.

So I wheel myself in, wheel over grab a pop and a newspaper. Then I sat in line waiting to pay for it. A moment later three of my buddies rush into the gas station and yell something like, "You stupid fuckin retard. I'll teach you to steal my mail." Then they brutally threw me out of the wheel chair and took off out the store with it. I sprawled to the floor and started crying hysterically. It made a huge scene. There was 8 or 9 people in the store just staring not knowing what to do.

There was a hero though. One guy chased my buddies out into the parking lot while I lie on the floor crying. After about 90 seconds or so of lying on the floor crying I just stood up and gave a military style salute to everyone in the store and walked out with a straight face.

When I got into the parking lot this guy is yelling at my friends, "Hey that's not fuckin cool. Give him his fuckin wheelchair back or I'm going to beat your asses." I walked by him as he was saying this and said to him, "No dude it's alright. You don't have to beat anyone's ass." Guy just looks at me all sorts of confused and we load up the wheel chair and head to Wendy's.

Same plan at Wendy's. So I go to wheel myself into Wendy's and I straight up can't wheel myself up the ramp. It's too steep. And I was 18 years old, cock strong, and in good shape. There was no way I could get up the ramp and I almost fell over backwards. So we had to make up another plan. The new plan was that my buddy Dan would wheel me in, then he would leave me in front of the counter while he went to the bathroom. Oh, and the whole time I would be acting basically retarded. And my name was Johnson. It was always Johnson.

So Dan wheels me into the Wendy's and goes to the bathroom. A few minutes later my buddies rush in and say, "You stupid fuckin retard! Quit wheeling up and down my street." They literally kicked me and my wheelchair over and ran out the store with it. Then my buddy Dan bursts out of the bathroom while I am crumpled on the floor crying and says, "Johnson! What the fuck did they do to you? I'll get those fuckers!" And he runs out the store after them leaving me crying on the floor. It was a riot. Someone says call the cops and others try to help me up and see if I was ok. After some acting I get up and walk out of the store.

We went to Mcdonald's next. This time Dan was going to be playing the part of Johnson. Dan is a big guy, I mean he's pretty fat. He was probably 250lbs or so. He wheels himself into the Mcdonald's and just waits there looking at the menu. After a minute or so my buddies and I rush in to do the deal. Someone yells, "Fuck retards!" Then my one friend lifts up the handles to tip Dan out of the chair and I grabbed him by the by the arm and shoulder and just heave him out of the chair. I launched him a good 6 feet forward where he slammed into the counter head first and crumples to the floor. He starts just moaning/crying on the floor. "Oooohhhh, Oooooooh, Ooooh!

We got the Mcdonalds episode on tape. We had some other friends sitting in the store with a camera stuffed in a backpack. I'm going to try to get a hold of the video again and post it on youtube. This large black lady at the counter says, "Now why day do dat? Dat aint cool." My friends in the store started cracking up and the black lady says, "That aint funny. You shouldn't laugh, at aint cool."

Then we did it at a Rite Aide. Same formula, same results. Only this time the clerk was like immediately on the phone calling the cops. We ran the fuck out of the store and loaded up the wheel chair. As we were peeling out of the parking lot the cops were coming in another entrance. When we got home we all decided that we pushed our luck enough and that we were probably going to get arrested if we did it too many times so we retired the wheelchair and the Johnson personality permanently. The wheelchair to this day sits behind my buddy's pole barn collecting rust.

We did it a few other times, but you get the gist. It was all pretty funny at the time. It's still hilarious to me, but maybe this wasn't the greatest idea we ever had. Or maybe it was. I dunno. This, among many other reasons is why I'm going to hell.

A little about myself

I figure I should introduce myself to the blog world, and maybe explain a bit about myself and my interests. It seems like an appropriate kind of thing to do. I have a ton of hobbies. I kinda spread myself too thin in that regard because I don't focus enough attention on any one thing.

First off, I love mountain biking. I bought a 600 dollar mountain bike two and a half years ago and I fell in love. It was seriously the nicest bike I have ever ridden on in my life. I bought it because I thought hey this might be a fun way to get some exercise. I started off just street riding around the city but I found out that that was pretty boring and quite dangerous. People in cars do not see you; I feel like I'm always about to get creamed.

So I looked up information about the trail systems in southeastern Michigan and it turns out that there are dozens of great trails in beautiful state parks all around the area. So I picked out an extremely difficult trail because I aint no chump right? And I pack my bike up and left. I road Pontiac Lake State Recreation area for my first trip. It's 10 miles of ridiculously hard trails. It's a big circle and you're supposed to ride clockwise. I road the trail backwards, and with no helmet. Spandex clad gangsters yelled at me to turn around but fuck em, they aint shit. Within a few minutes I managed to flip over my handle bars into thick underbrush, bruising my ego and shoulder.

After what seemed like an eternity I stopped at the top of a hill to rest. A few moments later a group of 60 year old men came to the top of the hill and stopped to talk to me. They told me that I really needed to turn around cause I might cause an accident. A biking accident ha! I didn't know they existed. I asked them if I at least had made it half way, and they told me not even close. I followed them back the rest of the way but they basically left me in the dust. It was embarrassing, but from that moment on, I was hooked. Mountain biking is awesome. I eventually went back to that park and conquered the trail going the right way and have been riding ever since.

Another one of my hobbies is playing the drums. I bought my set a year ago and I am trying desperately to learn how to play. It's a lot of fun to beat out my stress on these. I'm not in a band, nor do I aspire to be a rockstar or anything. I just want to get decent on these things and be able to jam with friends and stuff.

I am a computer junkie as well. I dick around on the internet way more than I like to admit. I have seen every single internet meme, and goofy youtube video. I love all things technology. I love fixing computers, and tweaking them to do all of the sweet shit that they were meant to do. I spend a lot of time on the computer.

I am a sports nut. I love watching sports on TV and in person. I am particularly partial to Red Wings hockey and U of M football, but I'll watch anything. Recently I spent hours watching the Wimbeldon open. Tennis! I guess I'm just in love with sport as a whole. I am quite athletic, and was the captain of my wrestling team in high school. I also boxed golden gloves for a while, and trained in mixed martial arts with my wrestling partner in high school. I love competition, although it seems as though my days of competing might be over. I coached a little league wrestling team last year and had a blast. I think I will probably end up being a wrestling coach amongst other things.

These are just some of the things that I like to do. I will post more about myself in the future. Oh, and here's one of my favorite youtube videos of all time.