I want to choke a ginger

I work with close to the most annoying person on the face of the planet. I almost cannot contain myself when she tries to interact with me. I want to shout at the top of my lungs for her to shut the fuck up whenever she opens her mouth. Which is a lot. It seems like that's all she knows how to do at work.

First I will describe her appearance. She is a ginger. Red hair, pale, freckles, the whole deal. Inherently there's nothing wrong with this. But she's also fat. She's probably 5'6" and weighs close to 200 pounds. She is shaped much like a pear and has a gigantic ass. She is straight up repulsive to look at.

The biggest reason she is annoying is simply how much she talks, as well as what she talks about. She's one of those people that I think are scared of silence. I think she feels like as long as she's talking and people are listening that people actually like her. She has no clue.

She talks about the most mundane topics that wouldn't interest someone locked up in solitary confinement for 10 years. She also talks about things that are innapropriate. She will say things about her sex life at weird times that make you feel uncomfortable simply because you don't want to imagine her repulsive body doing things like anal. She once told me she loves anal. She makes sex noises for no reason. She makes claims to how good she is in bed and what positions she likes. She acts like every guy that works with us would jump at the chance to get her in bed. She flirts with everyone.

On top of all of this she talks down to people. This chick works two nights a week, and has no real power to speak of, but she acts like she owns the place. She tries to delegate lesser tasks to other people as if she's too busy to do anything. She is constantly trying to tell people the "right" way to do things. I was once chopping green peppers and she told me that I shouldn't chop them; that I should slice them because I might cut my hand. Thanks, I think I can handle this simple task without making myself bleed.


My work is making it mandatory that everyone "retrain" at all of the stations. I work at a pizza place. Monkeys could do this job. The owner's wife decided that I was the first person that needed to be retrained. I've only worked there for 2.5 months. It wasn't very long ago that I trained for this shit in the first place. So she has the fat ginger bitch train me on how to make salads. This place is really anal. They have signs on all of the walls instructing you on how to do every single thing in the store.

So I'm making an antipasto salad. This requires 20 pieces of ham, and 20 pieces of salami. Knowing that this fat stupid bitch is watching I make the salad to the exact specifications required by the chart on the wall. She comments to me on how I only put 18 pieces of ham on the salad, not 20. I stare dead at her with a look that I hope she interpreted as my desire to strangle her. Then she tells me that I put too many black olives on the salad. I am losing all patience and rational thought at this point. I want to gouge my eyeballs out with something dull. After an excruciating hour, I asked my other manager to replace her with anyone else to "retrain" me. He hates the fat ginger too and helped me out.

I have "gotten into it" with this ginger retard a couple of times. She understands that I don't like her. Most recently I told her not to speak to me unless it's necessary. Later in the night I was in the back room doing some busy work when she "wanted to straighten some things out." I politely informed her that I didn't need to straighten anything out, and that I couldn't care less about anything involving her. She wants to know why I don't like her. She has never been mean to me whatsoever. Blah blah blah.

I tell her... "How do I say this nice and without hurting your feelings? I find you to be very annoying and I would truly just like to not interact with you on any levels other than professional. If what you need to say to me doesn't have some direct correlation to the work we're performing I would appreciate it if you don't try to communicate with me."

This puts her in a defensive and argumentative stance where she appeals to me trying to state her case as to why I should be nice to her and like her. I tell her that none of this matters to me and that I would just seriously like to not interact with her. I ask her to quit talking to me so I can finish the work I'm doing. She goes on. She starts badgering me, asking me why I don't like her and think she's annoying. At this point I am boiling over with frustration and I am annoyed beyond belief.

I tell her, "Brandi, since you cannot comprehend what I am saying and simply won't leave me alone I will be a bit more brash. I think you are quite possibly one of the stupidest people I've ever known in my life. You are definitely top 5, and that's a hard list to get on. I haven't updated this list in years, well till I met you anyways. I don't believe that you can in any way shape or form add any value to my life. In fact, the only thing you can manage to do is annoy me. I am not interested in this whatsoever. All I would like from you is for you to leave me alone completely. Please, just act like I don't exist at all; trust me, this is how I think of you."

She badgers on for a few more moments about how she is in fact smarter than I am and that she never did anything to me to warrant me being mean to her. Blah blah blah. I don't care. Some people just don't get it. When people don't like me, it doesn't bother me. I can handle the fact that someone doesn't like my personality. It's cool. This bitch craves attention and wants to be everyone's best friend.

I need a new job. Or a bottle of dumb bitch repellent.